Look at her, all smug up there…
Y’all, is it festivus? Because I need to air some grievences about my chickens.
When you get them as cute little fluff balls, you’re dreaming of fresh eggs. Things like chicken *%$# on your porch are the furthest thing from your mind…
But good gracious…the poo. The chicken poo is everywhere, and it’s driving me mad! It certainly doesn’t help that my dear, sweet, Homestead Girls keep popping the screen out of the porch door…and thus letting the chickens come into the SCREENED in portion of our back porch.
They’ve turned it in to their own personal litter box. The chickens…not the girls. That would be a totally different post!
But if that wasn’t enough…their ringleader (boy if a flock ever needed a rooster its this one!) has some kind of personal vendetta against me.
My husband built me a gorgeously huge garden this summer – that man speaks my love language y’all. And in anticipation I started some seedlings indoors. I transplanted 13 cucumber plants into the garden and whilst doing so this jerk chicken came over, stuck her entire head through the fencing and ate off the beautiful green leaves of my cucumber plants!
Right in front of me y’all. Right in front of me. Seriously she’s got no respect at all. Later that day I went out and she had done it to every. single. cucumber plant. all THIRTEEN of them.
I replanted farther away from the fence. And I cursed at her. I’m not ashamed to admit it.
Poop on my porch, eating my garden, aaaaand we can recently add neighborhood vagabonds to the list of grievences.
We let our flock free range in our back yard.
They took to the front yard (so now I have chicken poop on my FRONT porch too…lovely). But we’re super American dreamy and have a picket fence. Which they go right over or through or who even knows. Two of our pullets have been outcasted from the flock (thank you jerky ringleader hen) and so they’ve decided to spend their days in our neighbor’s back yard…across the street and two houses down. They come running back across the street at the end of the day when my husband comes home though…bizarre little creatures!
So now you know why the chicken crossed the road…because they’ve been ousted by their flock and need to seek new ground.
Luckily though, they are so cute still that the neighborhood has become endeared to them and when my husband apologetically told them he would be fixing the problem very soon, the neighbors were all disappointed! Bless them.
I know what you’re saying – just put them in a chicken run! Trust me, I’ve been advocating for this for WEEKS now. But the Husband Man staunchly refuses. He wants them to be eating bugs in the yard and to act as a snake alarm – believe it or not, apparently we live in a coral snake hub, the neighbor has already seen three this season.
And I suppose those are valid points… but…
there’s chicken poo on my porch!